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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose??? Full"
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"BREAKING: Daniel on Facebook is worried about his account's privacy but Paul is all ""that shit's a hoax dude!"" More as this story develops."
"I spend 99% of my drunk time chasing my cat around trying to give him a hug."
"So how do monks stay warm in the snow covered peaks and whatnot? they have a shawl in temple"
"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."
"One time dad asked what my five-year plan was, and I said ""death or becoming a pirate king"" and he threw my cat Alan at me"
"My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick."
"When talking to your kids about the ""birds and the bees"", don't forget the part about how the bird can't feel shit when he wears a condom."
"How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson? it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in."
"What is the worst race of ghosts? ...Spooks"