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Joke of the Day

"Looking at your innocent 5 year old now, I bet you can't imagine him drinking and taking drugs. Just you wait. First grade can be brutal."

"Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events."

"that awkward moment when a friend is complaining about their spouse, but you start to identify with the spouse"

"There's a brand new cemetery in town Everybody is dying to get in"

"Titties and explosions. Plot line optional. #HollywoodPostItNote"

"Why did he cross back? So he could charge the client for travel expenses."

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"Why did the caveman not take Viagra? Because he was rock hard."

"Rape Such a short word for such a long sentence."

"Why did the woman sky-diver wear a jock strap? So she didn't whistle on the way down."