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Joke of the Day

"I'm so fucking sick of you guys making Asian-lady stereotypes. Now shut up so I can get back to my nail salon."

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it. I'll show myself out."

"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""

"Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice? It didn't like being double crossed."

"Only in America... Can you shoot up a whole church and still be hated less than someone who shot a lion."

"A guy drove his expensive car into a tree... That's when he learned how the Mercedes bends"

"Whenever I see a lone female jogging at night I follow her in my car from a noticeable distance because there are a lot of weirdos out there."

"Did you know that Lombard street in San fransisco is the second most crooked street in the United States? The most crooked street in the United States is Wall Street!"

"My card got declined buying toilet paper shit."

"I'm in a band called Missing Cat. You've probably seen our posters."