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Joke of the Day

"My card got declined buying toilet paper shit."

"Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors."

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato."

"Girl: So, how many inches is it? Pat: How many inches is what? G: You know.. P: Uhhh, about 200 dollars long. G: OMG, It's so big!"

"My mom recently figured out that the best way to get me to call her back right away is to text me that someone died but not tell me who."

"How does Ellen DeGeneres fire an arrow? With her Les-bow."

"What does a blonde playing the drums sound like? Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick..."

"No one looks more suspicious than everyone else at a gas station."

"What did Obama mean when he called for ""change""? Come Help A Nigger Get Elected"

"Cocky joke: You know, I've recently decided I just don't like my penis. It's such a huge dick."