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Joke of the Day

"Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice? It didn't like being double crossed."

"To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, ""You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things.""... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH."

"I've caught you canoodling. You're really in hot water now. I can see tensions are boiling. Perhaps we'd better leave this issue in the pasta tense. Sieve and let sieve?"

"FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner? SECOND MONSTER: Yes everyone's been eaten."

"Q: Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk? A: He wanted to work overtime."

"Gandhi once got into a food fight... It was naan violence."

"What gets bigger every time I see my wife. My wife."

"Does the census keep track of adults who sleep in their work clothes and shower three times a week? I need friends"

"I like my women like I like my whiskey... Aged 12 years."

"The ""L"" in Samuel L. Jackson stands for ""Motherfucker""."