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Joke of the Day

"One of my co-workers didn't come in today because apparently he's constipated. What a shit excuse."

"What did the dwarf pimp say to his working girl? Hi hoe, hi hoe. It's off to work you go!"

"""Hey, I can see my house from here!"" - homeless people, almost all the time"

"DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual."

"If your clock strikes 13, what time is it? time to fix your clock."

"What are the ""White Walkers"" doing when we don't see them in a GoT episode? Chilling."

"What do Christians and Muslims have in common They think it's a sin to use condoms when raping 5 YEAROLDS"

"What is the difference between the US and yogurt? If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture."

"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him."

"How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I'll let you know if we can be friends."