93298

Joke of the Day

"I'm always careful with women that do not speak to me even after the 4th date."

"maybe babys cry bc theyve realized their potential for greatness decreases w/ each passing secomd until they die an old soul w/ lost dreams"

"Where does Iron Man live? Iron know."

"What do you call a bouncer at a.. What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flame thrower."

"What can you say about a car and not a girl/your gf? It's easy to turn on, and even though it's eleven, I still love her."

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."

"I hate having to brush my teeth in the morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth."

"(Animal spelling bee) Owl: Your word is Mississippi Snake: M I Sssssss Sssssssss Badger: *in audience* OH FFS THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER"

"A rehabilitated crack addict says to his doctor: ""I'm going to stay clean this time"" The doctor replied: ""I'm afraid that's just a pipe dream"""

"I may not be able to use by the ""N"" word... But at least I can say things like ""Hey Dad"", and ""Thanks for the warning Officer!""."