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Joke of the Day
"Do you know what the worst part of being paralyzed is? I can't stand being in a wheelchair."
Next Joke
"Weather Girl: I'm looking at six to ten inches tonight. Me, to the TV: But is it going to SNOW?"
"NSFW:Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."" Originally from r/meanjokes"
"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"
"""Yo dad, did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?"" *dad checks & realises his mistake* ""you know what else isn't in here son? Adopted"""
"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"One of my favorites from Fallout 3: I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims."
"British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray."
"If our body is made of cells, what's a picture made of? Pixels."
"The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96. Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears."