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Joke of the Day

"Why did Jesus curse the fig tree? [God hates figs.](http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Cursing_the_fig_tree)"

"I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. ""Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."""

"""daddy why did the moon turn red?"" ""because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"""

"This is why we're screwed. Quotes in the word of your god."

"Bending over in a short skirt will probably get me further than my expensive education ever will."

"How long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating."

"Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves."

"What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine."

"I got it from my daddy? PSY How do you like my Pun? PSY-ber Monday lol"

"I'm half-French and half-American, but I know my heart is American, do you know why? Because if it were French it would stop working!"