93150

Joke of the Day

"Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance."

"I can eat an untied shoe lace and poop it out tied I shit you knot!"

"What do good dragons read when they are pregnant? How to Train Your Dragon. Good parenting, that is."

"M'lady, What is the most beautiful thing in the world? Is it your right thigh, or your left? Or does the answer lie somewhere in the middle?"

"Why can't you keep a secret from cattle? They herd"

"What game do they play at Mexican carnivals? Guaca-mole!"

"What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up!"

"Add an exclamation point to an email BOOM you're a morning person."

"I have a difficult time living in buildings near many neighbors I think I have an apartment complex."

"*Frantically typing on google* 'How to do CPR' *Opens video, 30 second ad pops up* [To dying person] Ok just hold on a sec"