93083

Joke of the Day

"For once my family is going to have a Happy Thanksgiving. This year I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac."

"Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs."

"*phone rings* Wife - ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me - *puts lipstick on the dog and watches Sleepless in Seattle* Wife - ""...."""""

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding. I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid."

"Rodney Dangerfield: ""Y'know, my wife and I, we never have sex... ... we get undressed, we can't stop laughing."""

"TIL Steve Irwin's official cause of death was ""onset of fever"" https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fever"

"Why was 5 afraid of 7? [Because 6, 7 8.](http://www.reocities.com/Area51/Meteor/9836/yoda/yodafunface2.jpg)"

"why are Jews so good at studying ? cause they went to concentration camp !"

"DOG 911: What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it? DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME??"