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Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding. I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"A lizard that can't walk: From what is it suffering? Reptile Dysfunction"

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

"[campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs."

"What is Rhiannas favorite type of cheese? mozzarella-ella-ella"

"Not realizing today's date, I just made a Pearl Harbor joke to someone... Needless to say, it bombed."

"I read an article about the dangers of drinking and it scared the crap out of me... ...so I decided to swear off reading."

"My entire family is prone to diarrhea... ...It runs in our jeans. EDIT: typo"

"The thing about women is that they love good listeners and they hate rapists."

"I saw a Nun with her clothes inside-out today... I asked her about it, and she said it was *a bad habit of hers*"