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Joke of the Day

"What's the summer weather like for a London criminal? Hot, wet, and muggy."

"More like ""science UN-fair"" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon"

"Ex (trying to make me jealous): I'm going to a party, everyone's drinking, laughing, and having fun! Me: that'll all stop once you show up"

"Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped? Demeter wasn't working."

"I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week."

"What did the two vegan strangers say to each other? Nothing. They didn't meat."

"How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway."

"A horse walks into a police station Policeman says ""Why the long face?"" Horse replies ""I've just witnessed a murder"" [True story](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834)"

"Which chord do pedophiles like the most? A minor"

"Why was the skeleton alone at prom? Because he had no body to go with!"