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Joke of the Day

"Which chord do pedophiles like the most? A minor"

"If I ever get married, I'm not wearing white. Nothing to do with the whole virginity thing, and everything to do with being a sloppy eater."

"I too like my women the same way as I like my coffee... Constantly berating me making me wish I was dead."

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."

"I just found spaghetti in our heating ducts if any of you were thinking of having children."

"Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.."

"What does a stripper do to her asshole before she goes to work? Puts the help wanted ads by the 12pack in the fridge and begs him for the millionth time to look for a job today."

"My ex and I didn't work out, you could say our stars didn't align I'm a Cancer she was a cunt. She was anything but a Virgo, and her Pisces smelt like a Taurus."

"Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris."

"If you combined all the female rap artists, what would you get? Nicki Melange"