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Joke of the Day

"Ex (trying to make me jealous): I'm going to a party, everyone's drinking, laughing, and having fun! Me: that'll all stop once you show up"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ...Bad-um Tst"

"In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth."

"A Chinese man goes to the optician and the doctor tells him he has a Cataract. That Chinese man says ""no, I have a BMW""."

"I dated an Optometrist, but just had to break up with her She was a great girl, but really annoying in bed. She kept on saying, ""So, do you like it better like this? Or like this?"""

"I bought shoes off a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."

"How do you insult an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it is from."

"What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French? A francophony"

"What do older women wear? Depends"

"A Mexican has 2 kids. He names the first one Jose. What did he name the other? Hose B"