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Joke of the Day

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"""You want to have your cake and eat it, too."" ""Yeah. It's MY cake."""

"Why do Women rub their eyes when they wake up? (NSFW) A: They don't have balls to scratch!!"

"1. Cover elevator floor with glue. 2. Put ring on floor. 3. Wait for someone to kneel and get stuck. 4. ""Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"""

"I never really got the concept of exact change... It just never made cents."

"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""

"What does Sodium and Batman have in common? NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN i'll just see myself out...."

"How much cash could the cash cab cache if the cash cab could cache cab?"

"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"

"Last night I got a handjob from a blind girl She said, ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said, ""nah, you're just pulling my leg."""