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Joke of the Day

"Why do Women rub their eyes when they wake up? (NSFW) A: They don't have balls to scratch!!"

"Is your refrigerator running? Good, mine too. See you at the refrigerator race tomorrow."

"Went to take my dog with no legs for a walk in the park... now its a dragon."

"How do you get a polar bear in the water? First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!"

"This milk's brand name is ""Organic Valley."" I can't drink it. Too grossed out picturing livers, spleens and pancreases sitting in a valley."

"Football legend Michael Owen has announced he's releasing a new fragrance It's going to be called ""My Cologne""."

"Why couldn't the whore house build a second story? To much fucking overhead"

"I've decided to get a couple tattoos. On my right knee I'm going to get ""Disney."" And on my left... dat-knee."

"Jack went to see the camp nurse. 'I fell last night' he said. 'And I was unconscious for eight hours.' The nurse was shocked. 'How awful. What happened?' 'I fell asleep!'"

"What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now"