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Joke of the Day

"Whaaa? You taste brides? RT MatrooKiBijlee: Bridal tasting was a success! The only thing I regret is not taking pictures. But still...."""

"The past, the present and the future had a meeting. It was tense in there."

"What's a Redditor's favorite color? M'genta"

"A nice buttocks. A *great* butt listens."

"Welcome to Alzheimer's Club I see a lot of new faces today"

"Why did the sailor ground his son? His grades were below sea level ^^im ^^so ^^sorry"

"""Okay, just gonna check Twitter ONE MORE TIME and then I'll get back to work."" - me, always"

"Love is a decision. I have decided not to smother my husband with his pillow. Our love will live another day."

" My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said *""what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?""*"

"Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented? What are our scientists doing?"