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Joke of the Day

"I used to date a moonshiner's daughter... She always made me lick her"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day..."

"I live in fear that one day the real ""World's Greatest Dad"" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug."

"What kinds of birds are raised by only their mothers? Blackbirds"

"What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape? What are your Hemsworth?"

"Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks."

"My neighbours are very loud when they have sex. And that's bad for my insomnia. Last night I was so fed up I had to scream their safety word."

"Q: How did bulldogs get such flat noses? - A: From chasing cars."

"Why do blondes have such large belly-buttons Their boyfriends are also blonde."

"Doctor: ""Do you suffer from premature ejaculation?"" Patient: ""No. I enjoy it."""