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Joke of the Day

"I just got my first cold sore... My mom says: ""Welcome to the world of herpes!"""

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a registered 6 offender"

"This is getting ridiculous. At what point does a newborn learn to change their own diaper?"

"Asking me to care Would be like asking the hunchback of Notre dame to stand up straight."

"What happened when Bush took Bin Laden's Lunch Money? 9/11."

"Somebody left a baby at my front door today, and I have no idea what to do with it. I just hope it's gone by tomorrow."

"A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster."

"guy next to me on my flight is just staring forward. no movie, no book, nothing. so its been nice knowing you I'm about to be murdered"

"well, i guess this was bound to happen. i left the pot and the kettle on the stove overnight and the pot committed a hate crime."

"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."