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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."

"A movie called Jurrasick Park where there's no dinosaur activity because they're now sick for some reason."

"Round, heavy object they throw at the olympics. Discuss."

"No amount of minority filled commercials can ruin Red Lobster for me."

"The real reason Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand was because he touched the thermostat"

"It's hard to find a good woman . * Smart * Sexy * Single * Sane Pick three"

"my wife usually fills up our car with gas *she farts a lot*"

"What do you call an erection you get at a funeral? Mourning wood"

"How do you make an archeologist mad? Give them a bloody tampon and ask what period it's from"

"My 3 yr old puts himself in timeout whenever he doesn't want to do something we ask him to. Pretty sure he just beat the system."