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Joke of the Day

"[train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name."

"If farting under the covers is a Dutch oven... is doing it in the shower a German oven?"

"Wanna hear a joke about pizza? never mind, it's too cheesy. -__-"

"What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Do you lava me like I lava you?"

"Are we done? Can we go? -A memoir."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting injected with tetanus."

"Your so dense, light must bend around you."

"So I asked my wife, were you faking it last night? She said: no I really was asleep. (I heard this from Gazzo on Penn & Teller: Fool Us)"

"There is no life on earth without water.nBecause without water, there is no coffee.nAnd without coffee, I'll kill you all."

"Why did Darwin love CSS? Because children inherit properties from their parents."