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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally pooped my pants during a 5 hour long company meeting today. It was super embarassing, but a man's gotta doo when a man's gotta doo."

"My life is a circus... I once juggled three fire-breathing girlfriends. Bah-da-BING!"

"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"

"A husband says to his wife, ""What would you do if I won Lotto?"" She says, ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent,"" he replies, ""I won $12, here's $6 - now fuck off!"""

"Trump & Hillary Hillary hides her emails because she has Trumps nudes."

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn"

"Who wants to hear an appendectomy joke? [Removed]"

"What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark? Is that your final ant sir!"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get its tiny legs apart?"