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Joke of the Day

"What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car? I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU"

"What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car? A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)"

"My favorite name for a planet is Saturn... it has a nice ring to it."

"Yarrrr! What's a pirrrate's favorite letterrr? ""R?"" NOOO!!! It's the Sea!!!"

"Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school"

"A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it"

"A dog says to the other, ""Woof!"" The other replies, ""Moo!"" The first dog is perplexed. He says, ""Moo? Why did you say, Moo?'"" The other dog answers, ""I'm trying to learn a foreign language."""

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheeet."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri? Porcupines have pricks on the outside."

"Today I was told that I sing like an amputee. Apparently I can't hold a note or carry a tune."