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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a group of hookers? A whorde."
Next Joke
"Ugh I hate when I go to shoot someone with a gun and then realize I accidentally packed my hot glue gun and end up scrapbooking for hoourrrs"
"Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved."
"When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too."
"ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: What time is it? ME: Haha. Yeah definitely"
"[having sex with centaur] ME: *man that fortune cookie was spooky accurate*"
"My ex and I broke up because she said she couldn't be with someone who wanted her to change. I just wanted her to stop sleeping with my friends."
"A cannibal walked into a female patient's surgery room... ""I'll take the eggs, please."""
"What do you tell a cow that's in the way? Mooooooooooooove."
"My dad's bread factory burnt down Now his business is toast"