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Joke of the Day

"Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved."

"Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying ""I want to help Arsenal win trophies."" So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?"

"What did the homeless man get for christmas ? Hypothermia."

"When a guy texts a girl ""hey stranger"", what he really means is ""I've recently thought about trying to get in your pants again."""

"What's gambling like in heaven? It's a pair-a-dice."

"rachel ray and the hulk have a baby muppet cookey monster"

"How dare you say I'm dumb! Would a dummy get a 'A' on there IQ test? Hmm?"

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"

"Why did the coed have sex with a Mexican? Her professor told her if she wanted to pass, she had to do an essay"

"And the Oscar goes to... Jail."