92293

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."

Next Joke
 
"When i'm hungry I eat food."
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff... and I want it (:"
"Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The bartender asks,""Olive or twist?"""
"What do you get when a fat guy and a butterface have sex? A Burka! He covers his body, and she covers her face!"
"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind doing a 5k but my running group is thinking of joining a 10k and I really don't like them."
"No wonder hell finally froze over for the Cubs... ...because the devil left to be President"
"Shout out to little yappy dogs. Literally everything you bark at could eat you."
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black."
"She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity."