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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."

"What do you call a zoo with only Giraffes? Giraffic Park!!!!!!! HAHHHAHAAHHAHAA"

"*takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer."

"Moving to Africa so I can feed my kids for 18 cents a day."

"Last night I overheard a punchline, but didn't hear the preceding joke. The punchline is inside, you tell me the joke. Bruce Jenner's cat"

"How many dead babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them"

"Your mom can deduct mouthwash and contraceptives as business expenses on her tax return. Because she's a ho."

"I'm DJ Con$tapation I don't give a shit."

"Why is it impossible to run through a campground? You can only ran, because it's past tents."

"Why is it detrimental to have a robot with repressed sexual interests? It has some kinks to work out."