91969

Joke of the Day

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"I went to an archery range. I shot a lot of targets in arrow."

"Things more likely to kill you than Ebola: - choking on a wheat thin - erotic asphyxiation - falling off the toilet - a duck with a gun"

"I've come from the future to let you know the Chilean miners will be OK, and that we haven't yet perfected time travel."

"What do you call a guy who works out regularly? Jim."

"Me: And then, for absolutely no reason, they changed the stars to hearts! We were all so mad Syrian Refugee: omg please send me back"

"My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today... I asked if they were very sure of them cells."

"9: Whatcha watching? Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there? Me: Two people. 9: Are they married? Me: Not for long."

"Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand she has to give directions!"

"There was a devastating fire in my shoe shop. So many lost Soles."