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Joke of the Day

"My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today... I asked if they were very sure of them cells."

"Hillary Clinton is in the hospital... She is being treated for third degree Berns."

"Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills."

"Your momma is so stupid That her adult child is still reading and downvoting Yo momma jokes."

"what do you call a baby in the middle of the ocean without arms or legs? fucked."

"Shot my first turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section."

"you cannot glue a tomato back together with tomato paste believe me I've tried"

"Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real."

"Why is Russia the gassiest country? Because their leader is Putin."

"One thing I learned about sex. Before you do it, always, always, always make sure to.. ask. edit: not my joke. i forgot who i heard it from. english comedian."