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Joke of the Day

"I think you should say happy birthday 4 times to everyone having a birthday today.. since they only get 1 birthday every 4 years.."

"How did Hitler check the price of his clothes? He looked at the Reichstag."

"Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care."

"I could be the next American Idol!! If they could just let me bring my shower on stage..."

"My husband just got to level three on netflix: ""faking an illness"" to finish binge watching I'm on level 6: ""faking your own abduction"""

"What do you call an electro-food? (it's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!"

"People who grew up in the 50's will get this. I was 15 before I realized that there was no reason why women's slacks had the zipper on the side."

"A man goes to prison and his cell mate asks ""are you going to be mummy or daddy?"" ""ahh...daddy"" the man replies nervously. ""fine. Now get over here and suck mummy's cock!"""

"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."

"I don't think 'safe sex' sounds like a very good idea. I mean, what if you get locked in and forget the combination"