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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock... (**WARNING OFFENSIVE**) Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET YOU SON A OF A BITCH!"

"My favorite pickup line is when a guy just slides an order of mozzarella sticks towards me."

"What's the similarity between light beer and having sex in a canoe? They both increase the risk of drowning."

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? 'Cause they all have phones!"

"""Oh, beautiful. Just perfect. I wonder if I'll be able to control myself... aaaand they're gone."" - Me with Thin Mints, and women."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with."

"Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty."

"Two rules for success 1. Never reveal everything you know"

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches and a peeping Tom watches snatches"

"Your mom is so ugly... ... That she committed suicide and the devil sent her right back."