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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a greyhound bus station and a lobster wearing a bra? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean! Edit: HAHahHAHA OMFG I'm the epitome of hilarity"

"Hot girls who complain that you can't get laid... do you live on a deserted island?"

"I am addicted. I bought the iPhone, iPad & iTouch & now iBroke, iHomeless & iRegret."

"Did you hear about the hunter who traded a prize deer for a high class prostitute? He got the best bang for his buck"

"Wife: ""Do you think of me when you're away darling?"" Husband: ""Yes honey I always bare you in mind."""

"Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!"

"My son just asked me if cats can have babies when they aren't married and I told him yes, but I honestly don't know."

"What kind of bees make milk? Boobees."

"[dog paws your leg when you stop stroking his head] 1st time: ""aww cuuuute"" 2nd time: ""ha okay"" 3rd time: ""i am trapped in a nightmare"""

"The past, present and future walk into a room. It got all tense."