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Joke of the Day

"The past, present and future walk into a room. It got all tense."

"This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news."

"I can't believe gay marriage is legal! What's next womens rights?"

"That Hamburger Helper hand guy. There's a twin out there, right? Didn't go into showbiz. Maybe an accountant or something."

"[Bowling Alley] ""I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any bowling shoes left"" *gestures towards a happy family of centipedes bowling*"

"Did you hear about that green and brown patterned toilet that exploded? It was a Camo-Khazi... FYI Khazi is British slang for a toilet, so now you know!"

"Sometimes I call meteors hot space potatoes and everyone just keeps ignoring me"

"This lady stalks me everyday from work to my home, and i'm beginning to like her People say its just stalk-home syndrome"

"Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,"

"I used to be addicted to soap But im clean now"