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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with a boob job? One's a crusty bus station."

"How did the toilet paper beat the asshole in the election? With a smear campaign."

"Where does He-Man keep his towel? BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it."

"I pulled my cow's udder, but nothing came out. He's a milk dud."

"I just spent $100 at Whole Foods. This better be a damn good bag of Almonds."

"Why are dogs always thirsty? Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO"

"I like my upvotes like I like my women. .. One at a time and not very often."

"Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work."

"Putin's message to tourists: Visit Istanbul While he still exists..."

"Did you hear about the clumsy thief who stole sculptures of famous people's heads? He eventually got busted."