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Joke of the Day

"Maybe it's the PCP, but have you guys noticed that flaming dude that floats around your head in a bubble shaved his mustache?"

"Daughter: Daddy, why do you have to go to work everyday? Me: Do you like clothes? Daughter: Not really Me: Shut up"

"What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen? The Ink-credible Hulk."

"Why can you never trust someone that needs to go to the toilet? Because they're full of shit"

"If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what is outside? K9P."

"I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces"

"doctor: your test results have come patient: what does it say? doctor : but first , what is your zodiac sign? patient: cancer, but why ? doctor : what a coincidence !"

"I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I'm feeling all right now"

"Why was the powerful Jedi a terrible comedian? Too *forced*, his punchlines were"

"Google Docs went to Nepal over the summer, came back like ""I'm Google DRIVE now,"" but we still called it Docs for the rest of college."