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Joke of the Day

"What's black, blue and hates sex? A rape victim."

"I can tell so much about a person just by guessing."

"My Grandad woke up with a puzzled look on his face. The daft b*stard had fallen asleep on his jigsaw."

"Why did Levi Strauss suffer from chronic diarrhea? It runs in his jeans."

"What did Hitler call his recliner? Mein Kampf-y Chair."

"What do you call a whore's laughter? Ho hos"

"What do you call a nun that walks in her sleep? A roamin' Catholic."

"What does a food lover do when they try a new food? They CURIOUSLY MASTERCATE."

"Epic Tragedy Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she's never broken a lawnmower before."