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Joke of the Day

"When I had no money, I had few friends, but no enemies Btw, I still have no money, in case you were thinking of becoming my friend or enemy"

"Why was Samuel L. Jackson picking up ladies outside of the abortion clinic? Because he's a bad mother fucker."

"Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand english ~dogs"

"I saw a midget carrying a TV to his car I asked him: ""Do you need some help carrying that plasma?"" He said: ""Fuck off asshole, it's an iPad"""

"NASA just released a statement that on Dec.21 at 4:30PM, it will start to get dark in New York City. They're calling it ""sunset""."

"What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes? Slow natives."

"I once asked my girlfriend if she was a newspaper. Because there's a new issue with her every fucking day."

"Did you hear about the electrician who beat up a baker? He was charged with battery."

"Shall I tell you the joke about the kidnappers? I'd better not. You might get carried away."

"Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope? He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope."