155489

Joke of the Day

"NASA just released a statement that on Dec.21 at 4:30PM, it will start to get dark in New York City. They're calling it ""sunset""."

"Why are people not right in the head? Because on the left side of the brain there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left!"

"After being fired Donald Trump went to collect his last paycheck from NBC but HR wasn't sure who toupee"

"I've been using Vim for 5 years... Mainly because I don't know how to exit it"

"Today I called the rape help line... But apparently it's just meant for the victims."

"Just found some clothes my ex left here. Perfect timing since I'm out of toilet paper."

"what did one snowman say to the other snowman? can you smell carrots?"

"""Dad, did you ever fall in love with a teacher?"" ""Yes son , with the kindergarden teacher."" ""Then what happened?"" ""Well, your mom caught us and we had to send you to a new school."""

"Don't tell me about how you ""dressed up"" your baby for a special occasion. If you're wearing something you can shit in you aren't dressed up"

"The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head."