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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the ointment... Did you hear about the ointment that couldn't stop talking about politics? When confronted, he said he was just trying to be topical."

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"Never knew that Irish people are so racist... Needless to say I was shocked when my Irish mate started telling me about how much he hates the black and tans."
"Me: Did you hear what I just said? Him: Yes Me: What did I say? Him: Did you hear what I just said"
"So today I got tickets for the Kanye West concert... I misread it horribly though and I ended up somewhere in Africa"
"Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is don't you? A: They get elected."
"When a dish comes out of the dishwasher still dirty, I just put it back in for another round, because I believe in second chances."
"My friend has a job coming up with bathroom humor He just writes a lot of shitty puns."
"Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me"
"If your problem can be solved by: Naps Cake Drugs Alcohol or Murder Then you don't really have a problem."
"Hey Verizon, here's an idea ~ $9.99 for unlimited calls, text, and data. But, $179.99 a minute to call ex-girlfriends."