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Joke of the Day
"Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me"
Next Joke
"No kid, you don't have it hard. When I was a kid we had to eat without camera phones."
"What is 007's favorite subject at school? Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!"
"What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject? The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to ""tell us about yourself."""
"What an age we live in... ... when a family of billionaires moves into government subsidized housing previously occupied by black people."
"What happens when the fog clears in California? UCLA"
"COP: Anything you say can and will be used against you-- ME: Handcuff keys COP (to his partner): Damn, this guy's good"
"Hey, guy who named the mustache Hair lip was available"
"My doc said that I should stop smoking and drinking immediately. What does he care what I'm doing in the waiting room?"
"How to make pasta: -Boil water. -Put what you think couldn't possibly be too much pasta in the pot. -Wrong. -Start an Italian restaurant."