76147

Joke of the Day

"When a dish comes out of the dishwasher still dirty, I just put it back in for another round, because I believe in second chances."

"I watched craps at the casino for over an hour tonight until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom."

"Waiter! Oh Waiter! Yes, I`d like to know if I have earned any CashBack Reward`sTM with the purchase of my farm fresh miniature cucumber plate"

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."

"Dear prisoners: How about liquid soap? You're welcome."

"Mom, can you take us to the maul? -teen bears, probably"

"[looks up at arresting officer] are you mad at me"

"My company uses salt water to solve any problem. We are called Saline Solutions."

"Why is it ""canceled"" in America, but ""cancelled"" in England? Because we gave them that L in 1776."

"""Well, there's no point in starting that now."" - Friday, 3pm"