91343

Joke of the Day

"Tinder for dudes is mostly scrolling through the mini cards they hand you on a Las Vegas Blvd street corner"

"Its so awkward meeting new people. Especially when they go in for a handshake and you go in for an open-mouth kiss."

"9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big rack. The 10th prefers the other 9 men."

"I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2012 & a beautiful beginning into 2013."

"What do you call a fat alcoholic? A heavy drinker."

"Jamiroquai, because Jamirodepwessed."

"What do you call a fart from a paraplegic? Inert gas."

"They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called ""Dickinson"""

"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."

"How to get a job... Interviewer: ""What's your biggest weakness?"" Interviewee: ""I never learn from my mistakes"" Interviewer: ""Oh, why's that?"" Interviewee: ""I never make any"""