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Joke of the Day
"Why did the nazi refuse to drink lemonade? He hated acidic juice."
Next Joke
"My dog. My fucking dog got neutered. Now he's just my dog."
"Is it a coincidence that as soon as Bruce Jenner turns into a female, that she becomes a bad driver? Too soon?"
"[at preschool open house hearing nut allergy policy] *raises hand* What if I draw a peanut on her napkin? Wife: Please go wait in the car"
"what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid"
"Doctor: I'm going to listen to your lungs so just breathe normal. Me: Well now you've made THAT nearly impossible."
"What does a polite Southerner call a golden shower? Cuntrytime Lemonade"
"Have you read the autobiography of the guy with two functioning penises? I don't know, I thought he came across as two cocky."
"How Many Feminists Does it Take to Change a Light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change a thing."
"Well, you see, there is something wrong with my friend... He spawns the pink eyes, and he doesn't catch it from other people... He just gives it to himself... Then spread it."