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Joke of the Day

"I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2012 & a beautiful beginning into 2013."

"On average, a single male has sex 89 times a year. Tomorrow is going to be really awesome for me!"

"Technology has made it so much easier to complain about technology."

"I suppose you can take my cold dead hand when you pry it from my warm live one and charge me w/unlawful possession of human remains"

"If any ladies out there need jars opened or items from a high shelf, HomeDepot sells rubber grips & ladders. -match.com bio"

"What's the best thing about have sex with a lady boy You can reach round and pretend its went all the way through"

"What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico? The Juan percent."

"Instead of sending an ""e-card,"" why not swing by & fart in my mouth?"

"I don't regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burned them."

"Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table. There must have been a show and karaoke."