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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst place to be during a tornado? Cracker Barrel."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car crash? He was an Oregon donor."
"""Hey, we're wearing the same shoes,"" I say to a teenager, ruining her day."
"What do ducks use to get high? Quack cocaine [Originally from Askreddit](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/36u262/whats_the_best_joke_we_can_make_one_word_at_a_time/crh46r7)"
"Dear women, 3 reasons why you need to accept we men are mature. No 1. We know what upsets you. No 2. Hahahahahaha... I said ""number 2"""
"Yay! The Democrats won the World Series!"
"Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The second atom with a strong British accent asks, 'Are you sure?' The first one replies, ' yes I'm positive.'"
"*being wrestled away from mall santa by security* u hav TWO WEEKS until deadline and ur out here doing PHOTO OPS?! WHOS DOINGE THE REAL WORK"
"Why is the sea salty? Because when it waves, you never wave back!"
"Is there any upside to living in Switzerland?? The flag is a big plus."