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Joke of the Day

"A man was afraid to go into Kohl's at the local strip mall because according to the sign: Kohls Staples Dicks"

"The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in sell it and return to step 1."

"I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows."

"Is the KKK a good source of Potassium? Yes, because they're all bananas."

"What do you call a panda who's legs don't work? Pandapalegic"

"I tested positive for optimism."

"I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?"

"- grabs leash - grabs phone - takes dog out for walk - pulls out phone - checks Twitter - walks dog to South America"

"What did the Philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman? Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?"

"A Haiku A problem that I Have with haikus is that I Always run out of"