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Joke of the Day

"[heaven] IAN: I only regret the things I didn't do ME: Me too I: Like, I didn't swim with dolphins. You? M: I didn't stop poking a bear"

"6 year old wouldn't drink out of my cup because she doesn't want my ""DNA"". Should I tell her?"

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring... Not even a mouse stirred."

"Computers and taxis are surprisingly similar. They both crash when the drivers stop working."

"My girlfriend always cheats when we play board games, like last night, we were all playing Monopoly and she was next door fucking the neighbour."

"Why do ants not go to church? Because their in sects"

"This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis? It's all just white noise."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"Butter Wanna hear a joke about butter? I ""butter"" not tell you, you might ""spread it""...haha...makes me laugh every time that one."

"What's the difference between a woman and a gun You can put a silencer on a gun"