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Joke of the Day

"Two bloke sitting in a pub watching a dog lick its balls. One turns to the other and says ""I wish I could do that."" The second drunk replies ""Give him a biscuit and he might let you."""

"I need some advice What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning? I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off"

"I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it."

"If you hear one of the high piano keys repeating slowly, you're either watching a trailer for a horror movie, or you are a parent."

"My girlfriend hates my new cologne chloroform... She says it makes her drowsy and gives her a sore ass"

"I'm so fat... ...my favorite super hero is the supermarket."

"You know in a video game when you kept pushing b to get through the talking part but later realized you should've read it? That's adulthood."

"American Horror Story: Public Restroom"

"The main reason why Harambe the Gorilla was shot It was black"

"Like most major sports injuries, almost all Rock, Paper, Scissors injuries occur because of insufficient stretching before the match."