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Joke of the Day

"There's a new Fast & Furious ride at Universal Studios I really hope I don't get Paul Walkers car"

"When we first dated I thought your freckles were dots of inexcusable cuteness. Now I can see how joined up they draw a pentagram."

"What do you call a lazy sandstone? A sedentary rock."

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. Wrong on so many levels."

"Wanna hear a bondage joke? Sorry I'm all tied up at the moment"

"If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue."

"*leaves one cupcake in work kitchen* *watches live version of Hunger Games*"

"I have a great ebola joke! You probably won't get it"

"1 in 2 in 3 in 4 in 5 doctors are babushka dolls."

"What do you get when a Game of Thrones character sets up your photo studio? Stark lighting."