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Joke of the Day

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. Wrong on so many levels."

"A passion inside me burns. It's called chlamydia."

"Why do I always sit in the back of an airplane? Cos iv never heard of an airplane reverse into a mountain... ill help myself out..."

"What do you call the cross between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if I know."

"To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!"

"What do u call a spanish man with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"I used to like Mitch Hedberg I still do but I used to too. RIP Mitch, we miss you."

"When you think about it, Mariah Carey and Drew Carey don't even look like sister and brother."

"What's the difference between Hillary and Eva Braun? One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife."

"Me: The salad with chicken, cheese and can you put it between slices of bread? Waiter: So a sandwich? Me: I'd prefer if we called it a salad"